NEVER trust ANYONE in your life!!

Trusting people is never easy and everyone may find it hard to trust someone completely.

How can you trust someone? How do you trust people at all? Do you risk to put ALL your trust in someone?

Some people are very much easy in trusting others. They, I say, are very naive and stupid to some extent.
I am not saying you should not ever trust anyone in your life. But, what I belive is that : Even If you have trusted someone, let this trust have a limitation. Do not blindly be so trusting of people. In other words,let your trust be in a way that If she/he betrayed you, you would not be hurt much!

Never assume that this person whom you have already trusted, will never cheat on you.
Always keep in mind that there is a certain possibility that this trusted person betrays you or even sells you down the river.

I have recently trusted a good friend. He means alot to me and the moment I saw him, I just figured out that I CAN trust this person. Even to my own surprise, he is the ONLY one whom I have dared to trust this much. At the very beginning, I started to construct my friendship with him on the base of trust.
Although I am very much trsuting of him, I do not ignore the possibility that he might misuse my trust and betray one day. ALL human beings are fallible.
I hope that day would never come. And I know I will feel terrible If that day comes. However, I belive prediction is always better than cure!! :-)
You would be less hurt IF you consider the possibilities in your life.

Strange feelings!

I have been feeling quiet strange these days :)
I don't know exactly what kind of feeling I am being through. It is like the feeling of when you have lost a dear person or a precious thing. This strange, but welcomed feeling has imbedded deeply in my heart. I am content with it.

However, I am somehow confused whether it hurts me or not. But, even if it hurts, It is sweet!

You might think I've been crazy. Probably, you have not gone too far! :)

I could have died....

Vomiting four times led me to a hospital in Kerman. I was not feeling good from the morning. I had taken a leave from my office for the day to study at home :(
I vomited once in the taxi going to the airport and three times in the plane.
The crew thought this discomfort is because this is the first time i am traveling by plane! :))

When I reached Kerman, the woman who was sitting near me in the plane insisted to take me to a hospital, clinic or something. Her husband had come to Kerman's airport to pick her up. They took me to a hospital and went.

The doctor (!!) gave some injections and serum. He had prescribed non-injection normal saline serum!! Idiot he was that had given non-injection serum for injection!! More idiot were those in the pharmacy who did not notice this! They gave me non-injection serum & serum's set for injection and they did not ask themselves "how come?" They were two young girls chatting and flirting with some guys and so did not care to pay attention what they are giving to me. How easily they play with people's lives here in the hospitals.

Fortunately, the nurse understood before injecting me the wrong serum. It seemed she was the only one in that hospital who paid some attention.
And i got survived!!

I could have died!... simply.... in a far city from my hometown.... alone and lonely..... I could have died!!

If she had injected me the wrong serum, it would have taken only 10 minutes to say goodbye to this life....

I could have died, but He did not want me to.
I am alive now only by His grace.

I left the hospital at 11 pm and took a taxi to go to my dorm.....
It was a night....

He is the Most Compassioante, the Most Merciful :)

This is not YOU!

One who is leaving me indifferently
who is going far away from me
for good , for no reason
who does not let me come into his dreams anymore
who says he has ignored all his memories he had with me

This is not you, no, i cant believe
This is not you , let me wake up
This is not you who does not love me!
One who is leaving me all alone!

I see these in my dreams
The night of lonliness is very long
One who sees my tears, but closes his eyes
who does not have any feeling towards me and my pain
who says he would not come back to me till Doomsday

This is not you, no, i cant believe
This is not you , let me wake up
This is not you who does not love me!
One who is leaving me all alone!

-- lyric of a Persian song, which i love... my own translation

What the hell is wrong with them?

What the hell is wrong with these creatures, i do not know!!

How easily they can dump their gals for another one! I hate them all.
The only thing they are concerned about is SEX. Give them a life with drinks and sex, they would live in a heaven. They do not need anything else.

They do not know what REAL LOVE is! These superior (!) creatures just know very well how to call their "lust", Love!!!
They are all fucking liars, they would say "i love u" to each gal they see in their life! They are bastards who know well how to play with girls' emotions and how to fool and cheat on them!

I have been disliking them from a long time ago, but now it has reached the point of hatred especially after seeing how my sister's boyfriend did dump her!!! How fucking stupid i am that i thought this boy is different from the others!!

I know, every reader would accuse me of not minding the exceptions!
But as far as i am concerned, there are no exceptions here!!! There is nothing to choose between MEN! These males are all the same.
Hell with all of them!!
I would always love to be ALONE rather than living with a bastard!

My Baby Shot Me Down

I just love this song and wanted to post its lyric here.


Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) BY Nancy Sinatra

I was five and he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black and I wore white
He would always win the fight

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
"Remember when we used to play?"

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down.

Music played, and people sang
Just for me, the church bells rang.

Now he's gone, I don't know why
And till this day, sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie.

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down...

It happened again!

It just happened again. Probably, I don't know what is wrong with me or i don't want to know. Maybe, I know it all, but I want to ignore! In each case, It doesn't make any difference though.
But, still I am somehow perplexed with some insecure feelings maybe.
Something or some things are just pulling me back. I don't wanna take a single move, because I am already settled now. But still I can't really resist sometimes. I do want to ignore my heart, but it's asking me for it aloud.
Probably, I have taken this matter very very serious which I should not ever have!
I don't know. I just hope that the passage of time would solve everything!
And I guess I better watch how it goes on, and let it go on as the way it would tend to.
I am totally reluctant to make a try for changing it, restoring it or discussing about it.
Let it go the way it is supposed to. I am just gonna watch it to the end. :-)

He is Great!

"Allahu Akbar" is a prominent belief in my religion which means "God is Great". I had never asked what this greatness can ever imply.
Today, i got to know!
If you have some faith, you believe that God is aware of everything. He knows what would happen. He knows what would you do. He knows every single thing that is gonna happen. He is All Aware.

His greatness lies in the place where He grants your wish at the moment, THOUGH He knows you don't deserve it, though He knows you're gonna go wicked the other moment.

Imagine you have made a promise to Him. He knows you're gonna break it, He knows you would commit a sin and disobey Him, but still He listens to you and answers your prayers out of His great kindness.

It has happened to me. It's a while that I am not having a good relation with Him. He knows this and I know myself too. I say my daily prayers reluctantly as if I am forced to. My faith in Him is somehow fading away. I am not a good servant for Him. He knows all this! But, He still answers my wishes!

Today i was badly in need of something to happen, something which was almost impossible to happen. I begged Him and asked Him to make it happen and kept my fingers crossed for it. I told myself with grief: "How dare you. You are asking and expecting God to answer you while you never are willing to listen to Him?" .
I was asking something impossible. However, to my wonder, only less than an hour, the miracle simply happened and God granted my wish again this time also.

Isn't this Greatness? Truly, He is Great!
I felt ashamed.
Would you do a favor for even your loved ones, if you know beforehand that the other moment they would sell you down the river? If you know they would betray you, if you know they would not back you, if you know when you need them they would disappear, would you grant them even their trivial simple wishes? You would never!

"God, If I were you, I would never listen to my such servant's wishes, let alone of answer them! You are really Great God!"

I am following my heart this time!!!

I can dare say this is the first time I am just following my heart in my relationship with him!
My heart has made me confident here. It is crying out "stay away from him for a while or at least don't be in touch much!".
This is sort of a new experience I am being through. I never was inspired to follow my heart like this!
I used to follow my wisdom and sometimes my emotions, but now i am following my HEART! I am sure that my heart never lies to me and what it is now inspiring is only for my convenience and my benefits.
I wanna listen to my heart this time and stay away from him for a while or not be in touch the way i used to , though my bloody emotions tempt to pop in every now and then.
I am not inquisitive to find out the reason behind MY heart asking me such-and-such, because I do trust my heart this time and I don't know why I am pretty sure my heart is right and is not taking me far away from my own place.

I had never believed this : " When the heart speaks, the mind (wisdom) finds it indecent to object!" But now, I do!

All this never means my love towards him has been decreased. More or less, I am loving him the very same as before! My love may get stronger, but it would not fade away.
The tree of my love for him has now strong roots in my heart and though fruitless, it will stay green and fresh forever.

I am not taking back my love!
I am not ignoring him!
I am staying away and I don't wanna be in touch much because I LOVE him so much! &
I am missing him a lot!